So, whats up?

Igår fulgte jeg Notes råd. Jeg fandt ro i min lille lejlighed, ro uden mobilen ved hånden, ro i skæret af stearinlysene, ro uden andre lyde end mit eget åndedrag og en kats puslen i bladene udenfor. Det var en lettelse, at sidde her og bare være.

Mens jeg sad der, kom jeg til at tænke på hvad min status på livet er. Spørger jeg andre er jeg priviligeret i og med jeg har så meget frihed – jeg går ledig. Det er i og for sig også rigtigt, det er unikt at have ret til fuldstændigt selv at tilrettelægge hver eneste dag. Sådan har jeg bare ikke selv set på det, for jeg vil hellere have et job. Jeg vil hellere ud og lave noget med nogen, være uundværlig, være savnet hvis jeg er syg, gøre en forskel i en masse børns liv.

Så nu tænker jeg at jeg skal huske mig selv på, at selvom jeg higer efter at få et job, så skal jeg værdsætte al den tid jeg har lige nu. En tid som skal bruges på at skrive killer jobansøgninger, sove længe, udvikle bloggen, udvikle mig selv, nyde min familie, nyde at det er mig der sætter dagsordenen.

//Yesterday I found peace in my little apartment, quiet without my phone at hand, peace in the glow of candles, quiet without other sounds than my own breath and a cat rustling in the leaves outside. It was a relief to sit there and just be.

As I sat there, I came to think of what my status in life is. If ask others, I’m privileged in having so much freedom – I don’t have a job these days. It’s true that it is unique to have the right to completely self-organizing every single day. I just don’t look at it that way; I’d rather have a job. I’d rather be out and do something with someone, be missed if I am sick, make a difference in a lot of children’s lives.

So now I’m thinking that I need to remind myself, that even though I crave to get a job, I should appreciate all the time I have right now. A time to be used to write killer job applications, developing the blog, spending time with myself, enjoying my family, enjoying that I’m the one who sets the agenda.

A sneak peek


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A little sneak peak of my absolute favorite items in my wardrobe. As you can see it’s leather with golden details; a look adore at the moment. Outfit shots will follow soon – the very first look I will be showing you. I’m very excited to get started as a fashion blogger.

I hope your weekend is great! Mine is quiet and I’m spending a lot of time behind the desk, writing job applications. It’s very new to me, as I have been studying pedagogics until now. The jobs I apply for are in kindergartens, nurseries and schools. It’s all very exciting and I hope to nail a job interview soon.

Disappointment

I feel disappointed all the way into my bones today. I didn’t get into my dream study. Antropoligy that is. I got the message today and burst into tears. Because of the crushed dream but also because I tend to think of it as a failure. As a sign of me not being good enough, smart enought. It takes everything I have to turn those thoughts around and think of it in a different way.

This means I have to find myself a new home (this appartments is only for people under education), search for a job and start a new life in some way. This is not the worst thing that could happen, but as I am a very sensitive person it takes a lot of my energy. I fear big changes like these, and again it takes everything I have to keep positive. However I’m willing to “put up the fight”. I’m a fighter and a surviver. I’m sure everything is going to be all right, I just have to get through this struggle.

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