I feel disappointed all the way into my bones today. I didn’t get into my dream study. Antropoligy that is. I got the message today and burst into tears. Because of the crushed dream but also because I tend to think of it as a failure. As a sign of me not being good enough, smart enought. It takes everything I have to turn those thoughts around and think of it in a different way.
This means I have to find myself a new home (this appartments is only for people under education), search for a job and start a new life in some way. This is not the worst thing that could happen, but as I am a very sensitive person it takes a lot of my energy. I fear big changes like these, and again it takes everything I have to keep positive. However I’m willing to “put up the fight”. I’m a fighter and a surviver. I’m sure everything is going to be all right, I just have to get through this struggle.